Loosing My Dad

Monday, August 27, 2018
I just couldn't escape death that summer.  It seemed to linger, to remind us that it was still here and that none of us were safe from it.  Just six weeks and one day later, my dad died.  That one was such a shock, as he was so healthy.  My mom and I were picking out the headstone for my grandma, when he died.  Crazy thing is that morning when I saw him, he was doing great.  He said he was having a wonderful day and was feeling so good.

After picking out the headstone my mother and I went shopping.  When we came home, we didn't see my dad anywhere.  My son was going to go look for him out by the back door, when all of a sudden I called out no.  My son stopped and looked at me with a really puzzled look on his face.  So we went home and a little bit later my mom called me saying she found my dad dead, outside by the back door.  That was the same door my son was going to go.  I am so glad I was prompted to say no to him as it would have been so horrible for him to find his beloved papa dead.

My mom was in shock and when I got to her house, I started sobbing, begging her to never leave me.  I was three fourths an orphan (my mom's parents helped raise me)  now, and I hated it.  I didn't know what to think about it.  I felt so bad and I was in disbelief that he was gone, especially after seeing him that morning looking fantastic.  I called my aunt and she started crying.  I tried to get a hold of my one sister, but couldn't.  So I had to leave her a voicemail, and text, along with a Facebook message for her to call our mom.  I called my half brother and told him, he was upset as he was supposed to come down the next day to take our dad out to dinner.  Our dad was looking forward to it.

My dad's one brother in law came over that night and talked with us.  He was kind and I know my mom appreciated it so much.  When I went back over to my mom's after talking to my sister, we had to break the news to my son.  My mom told him that Papa isn't here anymore, and he looked at her confused.  So I had to tell him that Papa is in heaven, and he just looked at me, while holding onto to my mom.  Then we told him he died.  My son started to cry and said, "What did he do that for?"  He was so devastated as he was so close to my dad.  They were buddies and did everything together.  My poor little one had just lost his grandmother and now his papa.  Later that day, my mom started cleaning out her dishes and getting rid of things that were both hers and my dads.  I called my sister and told her what was going on, so she tried talking to my mom and all my mom said was that she didn't want them anymore.  I think it was her way of trying to deal with the death.

My other half sister was being a bitch to my mom, making demands and stuff.  So my sister took care of it and told the other one to not call my mom.  My one aunt called late in the afternoon and then no one called my mom until my other aunt called her Monday night.  It was so horrible.  I was so mad at them for not call my mom.  They should have been there and called her.  It was so sad.

The funeral arrangements weren't too bad, my brother wanted to be there to make them.  He wasn't that happy with the headstone we picked out.  My dad served in the Navy, so his stone was paid for my the veterans.  The stone was white with grey veins through it  It will have have his rank in the navy on it. 

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