The First Halloween

A few months had passed since both my grandma and dad passed away.  The days were up and down, along with the emotions being all over the place.  It was very frustrating at times, as I would just burst out into tears or just get angry for now reason.  My son was the same way, I heard him sometimes crying in his room.  I felt so bad for him and just wanted to take all the pain away for him and make his world whole.  Though sadly I just couldn't do that and it broke my heart.

Halloween came around and it was a sad day.  I always took my son up to my grandma's house for Halloween to trick or treat and for her to see his costume.  He loved it as he got to run into her house yelling, "trick or treat."  This year it didn't happen and it was hard on both of us.  He wanted grandma to see his awesome cost, but sadly that just couldn't happen.

I would then take him over to my parents to go trick or treating, and my dad would always tease him about stealing all of his candy.  He would tell Papa, that he couldn't do that, but if he was a good boy he would give him a piece.  It was so sweet.  I did take him over to see my mom, and he got a little trick or treat.  Yet you could see the sadness on his eyes, that his Papa didn't come tease him about the candy.  It was so quiet, and very sad.

My son did perk up when I took him trick or treating.  He got excited and started running.  Plus he was so happy he got some of his favorite candies. All in all we did manage to get through the first holiday without both of them.  Perhaps next year will be a little easier or it could be a little harder, as we are still in that shocked stage, where things don't feel real.


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