My History with Grief

We have  all experienced grief st some point in our lives and depending on our age, the person and how well you knew the deceased can effect the way you grieve.   If you are not super close to a person, then chances are your grief might not run as deep as it would if someone super close to you passed away.  

My first experience with grief was in 1987 and I was about 6 years old.  My great aunt had passed away and I had only met her once.   So honestly it didn't bother me that she died.  My mom and grandma were super upset and my great grandmother was sad as it was her sister that passed.   I don't really remember my great aunt or the funeral.

My second experience was in 1991, when I was about 10 years old.  My cousin was brutally murdered on Fathers Day and that really sucked.   I want close to my cousin as he was 16, but my sister was super close to him.   I do remember running up the stairs screaming to my sister that he was dead.   For the viewing I stayed in the car and read a book.  I don't remember much about the funeral.  What I remember is the aftermath.   My whole world got turned upside down and I hated it. My grandparents stopped doing a lot of things.  There were no more 4th of July picnics.   No more fun BBQ in the summer or on a weekend.  As a kid that was hard as I loved those times together.   I blamed my cousin because my world changed and I didn't like it one bit.  

My third experience was a year later in 1992,  when I was about 11 years old.  My great grandmother passed away.   I was a little bothered by it, but not by much.   I don't remember much about it except that things were different and once again I didn't like it.

It took a while before things finally settled down and my family slowly started to do things again, but things were not the same.   Dealing with grief as child seemed to be so much easier than it is when I was an adult.